Back in February I wrote a poem titled, Until Then. The opening line, “never wake before the sun rises” was a tribute to my emotional state at the time. It was a time in my life when I was unsure of the future, what I wanted or where I was going. While all of those things still remain true in some capacity, the last few months have been somewhat of a sunrise. I have felt myself beginning to see my world more clearly,
with open eyes, and an alert mind.
I don’t know that I could attribute this to one specific thing.
However, I will say being a Kindergarten teacher for the last 2.5 months (has it really only been that long?!) has rocked my world. I am teaching in a first-year, classical charter school in a struggling neighborhood. My students come from a world that all my life has been distant and unfamiliar to me. I have found in these last few months places of utter confusion and sometimes bitterness, but also so much sunlight. While I often find darkness where I am working, there is a light that is always shining through.
God is teaching me both dependence on him and dependence on myself through him. While the task at hand often feels impossible, little by little, he is teaching me that he has me right where he wants me. There are definitely days when I feel like throwing in the towel. Days when I think there is nothing that can be done for these students so why am I even trying?
And then quietly, a sweet smiling face will say to me, “Ms. Williamson, thank you for reading to us. I love you.”
I like to think of these moments as my small, everyday sunrises. And they aren’t just my sunrises, they are my students’ as well.
When I feel as if the night is never-ending (both for me and my sweet kinder-babies), I am reminded God is not only capable of, but he promises, a sunrise.